Dear Diary...
2006-09-12 at 2:13 p.m.
There are two kinds of vomit in the world:
Vomit, Example 1
You're watching Dubya's presidential address, he's feigning sympathy for the people who died on 9/11, and the families who are still grieving. He then starts the political mud-slinging, and you projectile vomit with so much force that it actually splatters the television screen. Then you pass out and wake up hours later, and congratulate yourself for such an impressive display of physical illness.
Vomit, Example 2
You're watching Dane Cook's HBO special, "Vicious Cycle". He's discussing how one sings Mario music while masturbating... and you laugh so hard, you puke. It makes it into the bucket this time, and you make that 'jumping into a tunnel' noise. Because that makes sense.
Needless to say, I've had a WONDERFUL time with this flu thus far. I've been living off of peach jell-o, mint tea and lentil soup. This house has a foul, yet sweet, scent to it. This must be what the plagues were like.
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